I will LOVE myself and that will BE ENOUGH

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Since a young age we are taught to seek validation from outside sources.  We first learn to seek validation and love from our parents, as we get older in school we seek this from our teachers.  As we grow and mature into adults we are constantly looking for validation from friends, lovers, parents, employers.

Why is it no surprise that none of us really love ourselves!  Why are so many of us starving for love, attention, validation from external sources?  It’s simple that is what we’ve been taught.

Having been bullied, suffered and survived anorexia and continue to battle depression one of the reoccurring issues that always becomes a brutal reality is self LOVE.  With all honesty I can say I don’t love myself, and I am and I have always looked outwardly for love, attention, seeking validation, seeking praise.  Because without it I have been taught I am nothing!  When starved of love, attention, validation, I feel worthless, alone, insignificant, hollow, empty & meaningless !  It’s every human’s basic need to be loved.

What I didn’t realize, is that LOVE could and can come from within.  Sounds so simple? And it should be!  But when you’ve spent a lifetime believing and practicing one way, when all you have known is getting love externally, the concept of loving yourself is so foreign.

The first step in change is acknowledgement, unraveling the years of societal brainwashing and self indoctrination.  BUT I have never been one to back down from a challenge!

What an amazing concept, I can LOVE myself.  Validation can come from within me!  No longer will I feel the need for shallow, superficial, insincere attention because when I love myself that will be ENOUGH.  No longer will I hurt or cry over rejection, no longer will I be starving for attention, love, acceptance.  I will no longer stay in bad relationships starving for whatever scraps of love.  I will cut loose bad friendships.

When you love yourself, you see things for what they are, not the illusion!  I will no longer need to exert so much of my effort, putting so much of myself on offer, to make sure I get loved.  I will LOVE myself and that will be enough.

What an amazing revelation, this body, my vessel, for years I staved it! And it continues to serve me.  For years I made it feel like on its own it wasn’t enough.  I abused it, made it believe that it needed outside love to be whole.

Now I must ask it for forgiveness.  Love it for all the amazing  things it does for me, without asking or expecting  anything in return.  I will make sure everyday how much I appreciate it, how much I love it!  Everyday I will work towards detangling what I have been taught, I will work towards LOVING MYSELF Because IT IS ENOUGH.

Alis Volat Propriis

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4 thoughts on “I will LOVE myself and that will BE ENOUGH

  1. I just wanted to tell you how amazing it was to read this! I have struggled my WHOLE life for the same empty validation. In reality I am selling myself short of what I’m worth and always feel so frustrated with myself but I don’t know how to change it. Even now I’ll have these moments of clarity and rise above that behavior but then I’ll turn right around and do it again. I would love to be…free! It’s exhausting trying to please others only to realize they don’t really care either way and it’s even worse when I know that they’re only treating me the way I allow them to. Like the quote “we accept the love we think we deserve”. I know that my happiness comes from within and so I need to focus my attention on being happy with the choices I make in my life and validate myself. Anyways, thanks for writing this! It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who’s gone through this!

  2. I am so proud and happy to read this….you need to read it to yourself everday..I love you my beautiful, effing amazing friend.

  3. ❤ Yes, yes, YES! When you have more than enough love suddenly the world is a new place and more is possible than you ever knew. I am so proud of you.

  4. Excellent post as well! Funny that we both just wrote about this similar thing. For me it started with hating my body because I was an overweight child. And for you, you’ve struggled with the EXACT opposite and yet here we both are…now getting our lives together, focusing on being healthy (mentally and physically). Congratulations 🙂

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