Rejection is a hard pill to swallow, especially for me.  I’m a people pleaser and fixer, I want everything and everyone to be happy and everything to be perfect.  I don’t want anyone to feel out of place or feel as if they don’t belong!  This can often lead to taking on too much because I have a hard time saying NO!

So when I am rejected by friends, guys or people in general I have a difficult time dealing with it.  Even if it’s as small as a stranger giving me a  nasty look passing by on the street or in the supermarket I take it to heart.

I’ll be the first to say I have an overactive mind, I’ll obsess over the smallest things.  Going over details of a situation, picking apart where things may have gone wrong.  It’s definitely mentally exhausting.

I would much rather have someone communicate the reason –  however painful – why they rejected me, rather then invent my own reasoning .  Maybe this is not for everyone, some might rather not know.  I agree sometimes ignorance is bliss, but personally I’d rather know.  Otherwise I will imagined 101 reasons why they have rejected me.  None of them very comforting!

The other negative affect of rejection with no sort of closure is we often make the rejection about ourselves, and I am no exception.  I’ll rack my brain wondering what it was that I did ….. did I talk to much, am I too fat, was I too silly, did I come across stupid, they thought I was boring, I laughed too loud and on and on and on!

So how do you cope with rejection?  As much as I want to believe that its not about me, I can’t stop my mind presuming it is!

I’d love your feedback.

Alis Volat Propriis

xoxo Victoria


3 thoughts on “Rejection

  1. Victoria, you’re a beautiful young woman finding her place and role in life. Don’t let anyone, or any rejection, keep you from what you want! You cannot change the direction of the wind, but you can alter your sails to address it!

  2. I think rejection is most people’s biggest fear…you’re not alone. Obviously you are a sensitive soul and it affects you, but that also means you have bigger priorities than dealing with people who don’t value you for YOU! I have experienced some rejection because of competing, and Ive just chosen to believe that it doesn’t matter because I’m following my heart and I can only be responsible for MY actions, not theirs. I will be the best I can be – take it or leave it!

  3. The feeling of rejection is something that I have been fighting for most of my adult life ever since I was 13 when a girl my friend put on the phone with me said I sounded like a girl on the phone. Even though this was over 15 years ago I still have this sudden fear over me when I approach females till this day. Even though I know my voice doesn’t sound the same it is disheartening that a comment like that has shaped my whole life. I have missed numerous occasions to meet alot of people because of this and for years I have been overweight and eating cause of depression. Even now where I have lost over 100 pounds in the last 3 and a half years and am 205 pounds I feel like it’s not good enough and need to lose more. I don’t take many pictures of my self cause I don’t like to look at them. I thank you for sharing your story with me and others and hopefully i can find that spark that you have

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