The Silent Secret Eating Disorder Chew & Spit

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Some of you will read this in shock having never heard of it!  There is an ugly, unsociable, secretive eating disorder called Chew & Spit.  The media likes to say its the latest ‘new’ eating disorders, but in fact to anyone who has had and eating disorder knows this form of disordered eating is nothing new.

I am ashamed to admit but for a long time I participated in this crazy, disturbing, hellish ritual.  I had been starving  for so long battling anorexia , emaciated and very sick, I began having bulimic episodes.  These were never planned, a few extra grapes and that would set off a binge, I would purge, hit the gym for hrs.  I was never a good bulimic, purging was always traumatic emotionally, mentally and the obvious physically!

I found a way that I could still enjoy the taste of  food –  food that I was not allowed to eat… cookies, muffins, chocolate, bread, cereal.  I could still technically ‘binge’ still maintain my anorexic lifestyle without the craziness of purging —> chew and spit was born.

When it first started, it was so innocent, small amounts of food, couple pieces of bread, a chocolate bar, one or two cookies.  It was a secret, I was ashamed, I felt like a failure, I was anorexic I should be able to have self control, I should be able to abstain.  Soon my parents noticed that a lot of their food was missing.  My Mum would buy a package of 6 muffins that should last a week and by morning they’d be gone.  It got to the point where my Mum never bought junk food, and even simple stuff like bread she would put in the freezer to stop me from demolishing it.  When they did get chocolates, cookies etc, they would hide it.  I’d take their bread, crackers you name it I’d chew it.  It grew out of control, the chew and spit became an addiction, an obsession.

Chewing and spitting wasn’t just being able to taste food it became comforting a form of coping, a way to numb myself, my emotions, a way to remove myself further from society and life, another way to keep anorexia closer and death close to my doorstep.  I’d do it for hours, my mouth would be raw and sore, my glands would be swollen.  It was mind numbing!  A compulsion.  I’d be tired, my mouth raw, the food I could barely taste anymore, but I had to continue the ‘binge’ till all the food I bought was gone.  I was soothing, like a blankey as a child, a pacifier as a baby, a favourite teddy.  I had my own warped secret that no one knew about.  I spent hours self soothing.

If I had a bad day, I’d chew and spit.  If I had a good day I’d chew and spit.  At times it was almost euphoric, like a drug, I was chasing that first time, the feeling of pleasure and excitement, the feeling of being alive, normal.  Like drugs I just wanted that temporary feeling of being happy!  The whole ritual at first was ‘exciting’ what food was I going to buy, going through isle after isle, getting home and binging, getting that high.  But like anything the obsession grew out of control, it no longer was fun or exciting, I was ashamed and disgusted, I couldn’t stop.

I can’t even calculate how much money I spent on food that I would chew, spit out and then throw away.  I feel ashamed to this day.  All that wasted food, wasted money, people starving and I just spat it out and threw it away.  I have to remind myself that it was part of the disease, a very ugly, gross, repugnant part.

Chewing and spitting may seem harmless and to many who suffer from eating disorders, and even a smart idea, but there are some serious consequences.

  • Mouth Ulcer’s – while your chewing your body is producing acid this in turn produces mouth ulcers & trust me they hurt.
  • Swollen Glands – from the spiting, looking like a chipmunk is not a sexy.
  • Rotting teeth – Depending on what you eat your not only giving your teeth a acid wash but  if you chew sugary foods you are giving your teeth a sugar mouth wash as well. This equates to cavities, cracks and tooth rot.
  • Ulcerated stomach – You may not be ingesting the food but all your sensory’s (see, hear, smell etc) think you are.  You are seeing the food, smelling the food, tasting the food, your body produces stomach acid in preparation for the food.
  • I saved the worst for last INSULIN increase – When you see, smell, taste food it triggers the release of insulin, which is not a good thing.  Insulin raises appetite (more chew and spit), makes weight gain easier,makes losing weight harder and in worst cases cause diabetes.

It took me a long time to have the courage to write about this topic, because of the shame I feel surrounding it.  I worry that people who read it will look at me differently.  It’s one thing to starve yourself or make yourself throw up, but to chew food up and spit it out – its just so bizarre.

But what I do know is that this form of eating disorder Chew and Spit isn’t uncommon, and there are many people who are struggling with it right now.  If I can touch one person out there then having the courage to write about my experience with it will not be in vain.  At the time I felt crazy, I felt more then abnormal, I felt like a disgusting crazed human being.  I want people out there who suffer to know that your not alone, that I understand and that they’re are many more out there who battle this as well.  Don’t be ashamed to talk about it or reach out for help.  YOU ARE NEVER ALONE.

Alis Volat Propriis

132 thoughts on “The Silent Secret Eating Disorder Chew & Spit

  1. Wow awesome read. I had no idea this kind of eating disorder even existed. I think you writting about your experience wil help alot of people and I will make sure to spread the word.

  2. I’m so glad you wrote about this. Chewing and spitting was a HUGE part of my eating disorder. It also became a ritual for me, seeing as I worked weekday nights alone at an ice cream candy store, c&s was a way for me to “indulge” without worrying about te calories. Thanks for your bravery on writing about it. It is gross but it is also extremely real!

    • Thank you so much for your comment! I can totally relate I worked as a coffee barista and we baked all the time!!! I think to the average person who doesn’t struggle like we do – its seems GROSS, but actually if people thought about it, makes sense, sure a warped sense! Hope you are doing better! Hugs for your continue battle!

  3. Aloha✿

    Yes, the chew & spit has been around for decades..maybe longer? I suffered from anorexia & never liked or participated the bulimic side of the disease. I only got rid of food if I was forced to eat & I am ashamed I have done the chew & spit..It’s no fun & not satisfying at all. The side effects are so great & so hard to see that when you’re in the center of this disease. I was lucky enough to have my big brother tell me the truth & get me lifting weights and training hard make a better choice to be fit NOT anorexic!

    I hope other women that suffer from this terrible disease will have that break through and fight hard to lead a more healthy fit lifestyle. Be beautiful from the inside out!

    Debra
    http://islandgurl1.blogspot.com/

  4. I have this disorder and just started therapy last week. I would really like to talk to someone (you) who has overcome this eating disorder about how they did it. I notice you put the cosequences of c/s but not how you recovered.

  5. i have been doing this for about a year now… this post really made me sit back and realize that i have a problem… im three weeks out from my first bikini competition and i think this chewing and spiting has really hindered my progress. id love to talk to you more about this and get some support.

    • I am in the same predicament. I train hard but this ED is holding my progress back. Perhaps we can talk to each other about it?

  6. Im struggerling with the chewing and spitting, i dont know where to get help, im too embarrsed to tell my doctor.. im now getting scared that i wont be able to stop, and im now always hungry :/ and so it goes on.

    Karen x

    • Karen and Josie maybe we can try and exchange emails! Karen you shouldn’t be embarrassed to tell your dr but have you looked into any ed programs or places in your area, it’s actually quite a common disorder, ppl just don’t talk about it! Let me know how I can help you!

  7. Im so glad I’m not alone in this!! Could you please email me? I want nothing more than to get over this but i don’t know how

  8. ive been doing this for about 3 years, its just become such a habit, i only ever do it will bread and cheese though, as i dont have a sweet tooth, will thsi still affect me as much as it would for someone that chews and spits sweet foods? i didnt realise it was such a problem, its just so natural to me. How many calories do you reckon you take in?

    • Funny as no one speaks about it but I bet this is more common that ppl realise. Did you ever suffer from other disordered eating (anorexia bulimia) I didn’t just do it with sweet stuff I did it with anything… I guess whatever food that I didn’t allow myself became something I wanted to chew & spit! I haven’t really thought about the caloric intake – I’ll see if I can find anything on the internet!

  9. im so glad i stumbled upon this post. chewing and spitting is now a big part of my life and because it has become an addiction, my biggest fear is that i will never be able to stop. i am currently seeing a psychologist but dont think she is going to be able to help me. i just want it to end

    • Never lose hope Michelle! It is a hard disorder to get over, took me quite a while!! & I cant really pinpoint what helped I just progressively weened off! I think a lot of it had to do with having a balance diet not being so restrictive, eating treats once in a while in moderation. But I’m happy to hear you are getting help, I do also think the disorder is tied into feelings, emotions etc. I found that when I was stressed etc I wanted to chew and spit more! It’s sort of mind numbing in a way!

  10. I cried while reading this. This is almost exactly me. Thank you so much; I thought I was so alone. I hope I can somehow stop; if you were able to do it then I can too.

    • I’m glad you found it …there is no HOPE you will stop. Eating disorders etc and never easy, you just have to take it one day at a time! Maybe get to the root of the issues! Let me know if I can help!

  11. first i want to say well done on your recovery and for being an inspiration to others! the more people like you who are brave enough to share their stories the better! personally i have suffered with a range of ED behaviours since my teens (29 now). c & s is just the latest in a long line! i discovered it while trying to stop the binge purge cycle and to start with i thought it was great! i actually havent purged in over a yr which is def progress! but i am now stuck with this OCD instead. the trouble with c&s is that there is no off button. you can just go on and on and on almost without realising. when i would b&p i would get full purge and it would be over but i am def not going back there. do you have any advice on how to like interupt an episode so it doesnt go on so long? i think if i could do that i could slowly ween myself off?

    • Thank you so much for your kind words, and kudos to you for always keeping faith and battling! You should be proud of what you have battled thru and won! The C&S is a hard addiction to get over, I totally know what you are talking about not having an OFF button. I would seriously some nights do it for like 2 hrs, my mouth would be raw and I wasn’t even enjoying it but I felt i had to C&S everything to get rid of it! You feel crazy!! I believe C&S set of endorphins seratonin in the brain ‘happy’ hormones as well as I think C&S lets you numb yourself at least for me it did. Keep battling let me know how I can help!

  12. I chew and spit every single day and I feel so bad about it but I can’t stop! I hate that I waste sooo much food and money (about £10 a day, typically) but I know that if I stop then I’ll just binge and put on weight. This way food is no longer the enemy, and I can enjoy the day with a lovely empty stomach feeling without being terrified whenever I see chocolate in the fridge. I don’t know how to stop without becoming terrified of food again and going out of control! :(

    • Sarah don’t feel bad C&S is an addiction/disorder just like anything else!! You just need to find the root of why you are doing it and find ways to try and stop… I know easier said then done. Its a process like any! Let me know if I can help you!

  13. I feel exactly like you, it used to be worst before.. I CS everyday at least 1 time..but I decided to leave it and it has been really hard..but I only do it now like 2 times a month..I hope I get recovered from this because it is awful and makes me feel alone and ashamed of myself…Im scared

  14. I am chewing and spitting as I respond to this. I can’t stop. I don’t know when this became such a huge part of my life, but now I can’t imagine life without it, and I feel insane. I want to stop. I don’t want to stop. I want to WANT to stop. I know it doesn’t “work;” I gain weight from it. HELP.

  15. I’ve been going through this for 12 LONG years. While i’ve had distorted eating since i was a kid and been a binge eater and dabbled in bulimia, it wasn’t till i ate mindlessly ate a chocolate bar (my drug of choice) and and then realised this was wrong and spat it out. At the time i thought it was genious. I could chew and get the taste and spit it out and not consume the calories.WRONG!! It ruined my life.
    The worst thing is i don’t know how to stop.

  16. I just want to congratulate you for being confident enough to share your story. Whats so funny to me is that your story is so similar to mind except that my parents never found out. I stopped bc i started having really bad stomach pains and no too mention noises. I thought about it and i came to the conlclusion that it was not worth it. i was missing so many things.like being with my family isolating myself in the room. the worst part about is that you always worry that someone is gonna find out. you think about the embarrasement that it could cause you. The dissapointment from your family. If i could give anybody one piece of advice it would be to never start. Becasue it is a thought that will constantly be whispering. YOu waste money you waste food. IF you feel like your missing something in your life. go out volunteer help and i guarantee you that you are gonna be happier and your mind will be at ease. If you think that this isi gonna help trust me your just stalling. your gonna have to face your problem again only this time you added to your initial problem. Good luck please be healthy!

  17. I am in my early 30′s. I have battle with eating disorder since I was 14..alway told how beautiful of a face I have..I am tall and pretty and if I coul only be thin. Imagine at 14 never feeling good enough. I lost 40lbs in two months…and still I was thin enough..my mom wasn’t any help..ana became my friend and honestly she never went away..like my period I miss her when she gone and hate when she is hear. As I got older I like to think I willed myself into recovery. But honestly I just discovered pinging and purging..then I became an aeorobic instructor..maybe I did it to mass my next disorder..excerising to much. I still do. I excerise so much I am always in pain. It takes over my life. I hat purging so I to started spitting. It is killing me mostly because if you knew me I am the image of a strong woman..I wor in law enforcement and preach healthy living. However, I can’t help but feel like a big lie….not being able to control myself…I can’t say this out loud to anyone….

    • Hi there suffering in silence and anyone else reading. I started seeing a psychologist around May and talk therapy has really helped me with c&s. Right now I am having a problem with bingeing but that is ok because with the help of my therapist I too will overcome this. THERE IS HOPE! Remember that!

  18. Hi, this has been such a huge help for me.. Thank you!
    I have anorexia and have started chewing and spitting only recently. Already I have noticed that my glands are REALLY swollen and my mouth is producing lots of bubbly saliva and my cheeks look bigger. I was talking to my mum just last night about going to the doctors… But later on I realised chewing and spitting 2 loaves of bread til it’s mushy and gross will make you produce a LOT of saliva, making those glands work overtime.
    I chewed and spat last night and sure enough this morning my glands were double in size.
    I don’t actually think I’ll talk to the doctor now…. Just try to stop C&S!!!
    Thank you again!

    • Yes often when I chewed and spat I would l look like a chipmunk the next day! Your glands are working over time. But I would encourage you to talk to someone!! Sending love your way! If you ever need to talk just shoot me an email!

    • How long does it take for yor glands to go back down? I cs like twice a day because I’m not supposed to eat wheat and well… I tend to cheat…
      But I kind of look like a chipmunk and I’m wondering how long does that take to go away?

  19. Hey I love your post now I can finally see Im not the only one … I feel ashamed too, I went from anorexia to bulimia to chew and spit and now well of them … I hate it its horrible I feel like Im wasting my life . Thanks so much anyway :)

      • Thanks for replying. I’ve developed a serious addiction to chewing and spitting after an anorexic period of about two years. I’ll chew and spit up to 6000 calories a day and I’m seriously afraid of gaining weight because of the unpredictable amount of food I may still be consuming. I just can’t stop doing it.

        As dumb as it sounds, sometimes I wish I was bulimic, just so I could put a name to my weird eating habits.

  20. Finally someone is talking about this…I started chewing and spitting when I was 23 and I thought I was the only one, now I’m 32 and I’m still struggling with it on a daily basis. I even had to have reconstructive surgery on my gums because my teeth had gotten so bad from all the sweets I was “eating”. Ashamedly, even that experience hasn’t stopped the habit. This seemed like such a harmless pastime when it first began…but it grew into a nightmare. I’m very inspired by your story and hope that I can give this up for good very soon. All of my disordered eating, from anorexia to compulsive over eating to now chewing and spitting was born out of a fear of being fat. Now I strive every day to just accept myself as I am and love the body I have. No one needs to be a size 0 to be attractive. I even think athletic women and full figured models are very beautiful; I just cant seem to apply the same rule to my own image. I wish I knew why. Thanks you for sharing.

    • Ariel I am so glad I wrote about this, I really never knew how many other ppl struggled and you feel alone and ashamed. Now I just realise that it was a part of my recovery and my journey! Any form or disordered eating is hard to deal with, never be ashamed. I went to the hospital and it didn’t stop me getting better! The fact that you are aware and that you want to get better and that you are working on that everyday is a great accomplishment!

  21. I have a friend who’s struggled with anorexia her entire life and she recently confessed to me about her spit and chew problem. I’m there for her and I support her but what else can I do? I don’t know what else to do.

  22. It is really hard, sometimes all you can do is be there to listen! I know with myself I had to really hit rock bottom! That is when I changed! You know that saying you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink! You just have to make sure that you don’t contribute or enable her! & just keep reiterating how much you love her but you don’t want to love her to death!

  23. this changed my life. i have been suffering from this for months, i am so happy that someone else felt the same way that i do everyday. you gave me the courage to beat this disorder, thank you i think you actually are going to save my life.

  24. I am man of 21 and I have CS for about 2 years it started off small but i began to see it as a way to enjoy food. it gradually got worse and at the time i thought i had found the solution to my weight problems ( i had lost 70 pounds and was finding it very hard not to gain and remain at a healthy weight) over time the quantity i cs grew and grew until i was at about £30 of food a day! i would buy less real food to save money but never cut down on junk for CS it is such a waste! and has become a sort of compulsion i find it has become quite isolating less time with people more time spitting food out WHY??? I got flu and a sickness bug over Christmas and felt so ill i didn’t cs for about 4 days i have wanted to stop for a long time but have been too weak. so i used this as an opportunity its been 8 days now, i cant say i have stopped totally but i have only cs two slices of cake in 8 day. i have been eating more mainly low carb high protein lots of salmon chicken vegetables . i have been more energetic and have actually lost weight since i stopped. i have read the insulin spike from cs can make it harder to lose weight. its early days but im becoming more and more determined to stop this destructive and isolating habit before it takes over any ,more. i have seen more of people and actually fell happier. its a sad and destructive behavior. none knows i have been doing this im too ashamed to tell anyone but reading of you all who have managed to stop is inspiring and hopefully i can to!!! Maybe by writing this its sort of a confession and i will stop. im glad i found this site, guess im not alone.

  25. Hi, thanks for your article, chewed and spat out a Twinkie today, thought it was extremely awesome, but then read your article and realise now just how easily this could get out of control, thanks for the heads up, I’ll definitely be watching that this doesn’t become a regular thing

  26. ** READ** Ummm, I recently learned about this and for a moment seriously considered trying it and doing it for a few days, but after reading this I’ve decided to just keep on doing what’s worked for me. I can eat lots of junk food and still maintain my weight. I have been able to eat entire cheesecakes, lots of chocolates, lots of sweet breads, many Caramel Frapps, pizzas, and lots of Sundaes from Checkers, and lots of ice creams, heck hundreds of grams of sugar per day, lots of unhealthy Chinese food, and much more, and I still maintained my weight of 132lbs. I’m 21, Spanish, 5”6 tall, 132lbs, and very smart. How do I do it? What’s my secret? Well, I devised my very own method to accomplish what every bulimic, anorexic, binge eater, and “Chew & Spit victims” were never able to figure out. It takes a smart guy to figure out the tough problem, eh. My method is heavily based on scientific findings (I recently finished college btw). I’ll share a few clues w/ you people: BMR, EPOC effect, MAX VO2, thermic effect, walking outdoors, and weight lifting at home. It’s all science! It’s all logic. I can normally eat 3,500cal in one day w/o gaining any weight at all and I have no problem with exceeding that by 500cal (so 4,000cal in a day) because I can quite comfortably create a 3,500cal deficit in one single day (that’s 1lb fat loss in 1 day!). One of my majors in college was psychology so I actually am very psychologically-inclined. Oh, by the way, I have NEVER suffered from an eating disorder in my life, however, I was fat from age 5 until age 19, and lost 80lbs of fat through following a diet I created myself (was heavily based on the “ketogenic” medical research”) and exercising. I’m currently weight lifting, jogging, walking, and eating lots of junk food, and still maintaining my weight. Anyway, if anyone is interested in learning the details of my very own method (which is not unhealthy), e-mail me: ethan.f@live.com. I can’t change the world and help everybody but if I can help just one (or two) people suffering from an eating disorder then I’ll be more than glad to try.

  27. I’m 23 and started CS about 10 months ago. Its getting worse and worse all the time. I dont know how to stop. i live with my boyfriend and want to tell him but im scarred he is going to be upset because of the amount money that i have spent on this horrible habit or just completely disgusted by it. I really dont know what to do. I want to stop but at the same time i do get so much enjoyment out of it. I’m so frustrated with myself. I cant believe i let it get this out of control. :(

    • Lauren, I know exactly how you feel. My boyfriend found out after my sister was being cocky and said something and questioned me. I came clean, and he knows I still struggle with it. But i don’t think he knows how much I struggle with it. If your boyfriend really loves you then he will stick by you no matter what. I wish you could get better too. I do know that it take a long time to do so, but it has to be YOU that changes it. No counselor is going to do if for you. Best of luck, hun.

  28. Wow thanks for that. I started my chew and spit about 3 months ago. I just finished a whole slab of chocolate that my mum bought and she’s wondering how I finished it so fast haha . These past 2 days I couldn’t stop eating and its because I am raising my apetite n I’m desperate to lose weight. So its not out of hand, so I hope I will be able to control myself. I chew and spit like twice a day on a week day and the whole day from friday night tilll sunday. My mouth got a little raw this weekend and I got 1 or 2 sores. My stomach has weird intermittent pains too. I purge as well but not as much. I know most of the health implications but I can’t control myself sometimes. Its refreshing to hear it from someone else at times so thanks. I pray we get through this. I know there’s hope.

  29. I’m a 1st year medical student. I’ve been CSing for almost 2 years now. I hate how much food and money I waste, but it’s the only way I can seem to numb my hunger for food. I try to get exercise whenever I can, but with all the studying I have to do, I rarely have time to get much activity.
    I know about the negative health effects of CS (swollen glands, teeth degradation, hormonal issues), and I’ve tweaked my habits just a bit to compensate for those (using gentle mouthwash every few hours, using turmeric/saltwater for my glands, forcing myself to eat some very low GI food for breakfast every morning).
    However, it truly is a horrible habit. In the past I’ve neglected schoolwork, skipped out on social outings, lied to my parents and friends, and when my crush came to my dorm room and caught me at it, it was the most embarrassing moment of my life.
    I’m trying to be a doctor, yet I can’t even care for my own well-being. I realized this, and more recently I’ve been fighting to rid myself of this disease. I try to stay moving (albeit at the cost of my academic performance), go to the gym for 2 hours every day, try to fill my mouth with conversation instead of food, but on the weekends and late at night I fall back to the old habits again.
    However, since I discovered shirataki/konjac/miracle noodles, walden farms, experimented with spices and splenda/stevia (all 0 calories), I’ve been slowly overcoming my disorder. I’m starting to incorporate egg whites, watercress/spinach, sometimes a bit of salmon/tuna fish, and fruit and nut KIND bars as a treat. I recently started a relationship, and my boyfriend has no idea about any of this, but whenever he takes me out for dinner, I’m sort of forced to eat normally. and even if i hate it at the moment, I know it’s good for me. We went to get ice cream the other night, and it was so painfully good that I almost started tearing.
    There’s no comfortable way of overcoming this. You have to put yourself in situations where you’re forced to stop this habit.
    If you had enough willpower to ignore your hunger and keep yourself from swallowing food, you have the willpower to conquer your eating habits now. The tiny bulge in your belly will only last 24 hours max. Holes in your teeth and stomach go way longer, and the time you spend buying, making, chewing, spitting, getting rid of evidence, of food, are minutes, hours, days, years that you will never get back.
    Think about it.

    • Hey, I envy how you seem to be helping your self get better. I am curious, is your boyfriend still clueless? I have recently started ‘officially’ dating this guy and I am really dreading all the summer engagements ahead!!!

  30. I have been struggling with this disorder since I was on the verge of 16. I am now 22. It went from doing it everyday to now I only do it about 5 times a month. This week though I have done it 2 times. Today actually. I hate how it makes you feel afterwards. I get bloated, depressed and want to cry. I’m actually thinking about talking to someone at the college. I have been beating this on my own. At one point I only ate 600 calories a day. I really feel like this eating disorder is keeping me from my perfect self and body (no ones perfect just a way of words). I can’t lose the last 10 pounds and I have a lot of fat on me. I get hungry all the time and I have trouble stopping when I start eating something ymmy. I usaully overeat on the junk. I crave sweets everyday, but I”m trying to stop that and replace it with prunes. My stomach is killing me too. I want it to stop forever. I wish it had never started. I just want to be normal ya know?

  31. Thank you for sharing. I recently came up with this idea and didn’t realize that it is also an eating disorder suffered by others. I appreciate seeing the information about the negative effects of chew and spit. I should stop before I get too into this!

    • Yes Dee it seems so innocent but as you can see it can take on a life of its own!! And I will be the first to say the negative side effects are far from worth it – my teeth are further damaged because of it as well the chemical reactions that your body goes through as it thinks that you are eating so there is a spike in your insulin etc. Take care of yourself!

  32. Hi there, I’ve just finished c&sing 5 giant triple chocolate cookies. last night I got through a 400g chocolate box, 2 packs of the same cookies, 9 chocolate bars and a packet of chocolate digestives.
    I do C&S as an alternative to binge eating, but now that I’ve had therapy for the latter I find the urges less, but c&s becomes a thing of its own.
    If anyone, like me, is trying to C&S because you think its less harmful, I can’t say anything – because how can we really measure?
    I personally find that not having bruises on my stomach from massive overeating is an improvement, but please please remember that c&s is not a cure or solution.
    you HAVE to seek therapy; to find out about yourself and understand yourself.
    c&s should never be an end in itself.

    God Bless and I hope y’all make it through this.

    • Hey all- I would really like to keep in touch with someone who is currently struggling with this disorder for support. I’m currently trying to recover, but keep relapsing.

      I need a support system as counseling hasn’t helped and I don’t know anyone else with the disease to talk to.

  33. It’s not a “new” eating disorder. It has been part of other eating disorders for years, and it is classified under and Eating Disorder NOS (not otherwise specified) but it could also be part of bulimia or anorexia.

  34. And here I thought I figured a whole new method out by myself! The first time was about a month ago and I’d chew on cookies like I was never going to have another cookie ever again. Then bread..then meat..and now even salad. I’ll admit to have suffered from Ana and Mia for quite some time, but this type of binge seemed so innocent..so harmless because I’m constantly falling in and out of the ways of Ana and Mia. The thing is it always seems so easy at first and then it gets a hold of you, it never let’s you go. People think they’re so intelligent when they say it is our way of controlling food. The have it so wrong. They couldn’t have it more wrong. Even though I’m appalled by every meal I throw up and digusted with what I’ve chewn and spit out, its the most satisfying and welcoming feeling known to mankind. And yet, I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone else. I hope each and everyone of you can break free before it totally consumes you. Because it will.

    • It is sad when ppl assume that any form of eating disorder is about control as it encompasses so much more and everyone is individual! Any form of ED is a life long battle, you wake up every morning and have to fight! If you need any help let me know! I am wrking on building a forum for this blog!

  35. I am almost 48 and have suffered from various eating disorders since I was about 16. Anorexia, then bulimia and finally chewing and spitting which started about 10 years ago. I have been living with eating disorders for such a huge part of my life that I cant even remember what having a normal attitude towards food is like. As a result of all the years of abuse from bulimia and now C&S I have eroded all the enamel on my teeth, to the extent that recently I had to have extremely expensive and painful teeth implants. My fertility was also badly affected, and we had to have 7 rounds of IVF before I was fortunate enough to conceive. I make every effort to get out of the house, or the temptation to attack the entire contents of the food cupboards and fridge is just too overwhelming. Every day I tell myself “today will be different” but it never is. Reading all your posts makes me feel so much better and for the first time in my life I know I need to get help, but admitting this to anyone other than a stranger seems almost impossible.

    • I’m so proud of you… keep battling! I can totally relate, I can’t remember when I had a healthy outlook on food, body image, exercise etc. I don’t think I ever will but I do have to tell you it is alot better! & you are never alone! There are so many of us that battle this horrendous disorder every day! I am in the same boat with the teeth, I am in the midst of restorations which will be lifelong endeavor! Let me know if there is anything I can do to help! I am going to start a forum on here (hopefully) so we can help one another in this battle! :-) keep up the fight!

  36. I am EXACTLY like you. I want to stop SO BADLY but I cant. I feel so bat shit crazy. Please please please tell me how you overcame the compulsion?

  37. THANK YOU for writing this. You are so inspirational. I just found this while searching on google. I’m a 22 year old girl going through hell with my eating disorder and I am so inspired by you. Keep it up xox

    • Thank you so much Carol! I’m glad I can help! I just want others out there struggling to know there is life after an eating disorder and although its a struggle some days I am so much more happier and healthier! :-) keep battling! Let me know if there is anything I can do to help! :-)

      • Thank you for your post about c&s. I too thought I was in it alone, but am pleased to read I am not.
        I have been c&s for nearly 10 years now. I have had anorexia/boulimia was in my early twenties. I recovered …. i thiught. After I had my children my problems with food crept back inu life and I thought I was clever by c&s food. Unaware of the side effects and thinking I was alone in doing it, I started to look it up on the Internet not long ago. I was looking for reasons why I can’t shift the pounds I have gained even though I work out regularly and eat healthy alongside my c&s ( which I do with chocolate, cookies and other food I do not let myself eat properly in my healthy meals). I have said to my self many times…. Today is the last day, yet I never seem to be getting very far before c &s again. It has now been 3 days since last c&s, maybe this time I am going to beat it. How did you overcome yours ?

      • are you still around? was wondering how did you stop? i stopped once for 3 months…then i got hungry and i started back up with a “just this once” piece of a sandwich. it has been about 7 months and now i am day 2 with out it and hope this time i can do it forever. tell us how you stopped please.

        also, you still work out…did you ever loose you period? if so how did you get it back? thank you.

  38. Thank you for this. I can relate so much. I’ve been hospitalised at the age of 17 for my anorexia. Now, 4.5 years later, I’m at a healthy weight but my mind is far from healthy, I’m still so obsessed with my body and eating/not eating. I try to follow the diet I got in the eating disorder clinic, which I manage most of the time, but for a while now I’ve been chewing and spitting and it’s making me feel SO weak :( And I think I’ve met about 30 people while I was hospitalised (I was there for little under a year), but no one has ever mentioned chewing and spitting. I feel like such a failure for doing it, and googling it today was sort of like the first step that it was actually a problem. I’d rather hoped to find a forum or something to talk about it, but instead I found your blog. It helps knowing that I’m not alone. I know I have to stop. I just made a deal with myself that if I do it ONE more time, I HAVE to tell a friend about it. I just need someone to talk to whenever I get the urge to do it I guess..

    I hope you’re doing ok right now! I could really use someone to talk to, but other people have contacted you already, and I wouldn’t want to be a burden, but if you think you could manage someone else emailing you every once in a while, I’d really, really appreciate it. But do feel free to say no!

    • I guess posting here and admitting to someone I have this problem, that it is in fact a problem, and that I should do something about it helped somewhat already! I haven’t C/S’d for a month now. I’ve been buying individually packed healthy snacks to avoid being tempted, and I think I’ll continue doing this for a while more, I’m not completely trusting myself yet.

  39. I struggle with this disorder. I always think I’ll have the strength to stop, and for a day or two, I can. But I end up “binging” on chewing and spitting, and it scares me. I have no idea how to get over this, because ‘just stopping’ is not an easy approach. :( But I feel better knowing I’m not the only one who is going through this!

  40. Thank you SO much for writing this.
    I have always had so many body image issues, but had never had an eating disorder until I discovered chewing and spitting.
    Like you, it started so innocently, but quickly snowballed.
    It’s been a huge part of my life for approximately 2 years now, and although I have days where I can go without giving into the temptation, the temptation builds until I break and I go buy enormous amounts of food again, just to chew and spit.
    I really don’t see a way out of this cycle :(
    Could I email you as well?

  41. Hey Fitspiration, thank you so much for writing about this disorder, i have felt so alone with it in the last few months since splitting up with my bf. I have struggled every day for the last 18months with this disgusting habit. Sometimes I’ve bought the chocolate and sweets without realising and I’m chewing and spitting before i know where i am. the feeling afterwards is so awful. I really need help and I would love to speak to you about it if possible. Where can I seek help? I am far too embarrassed or ashamed to speak to family or friends. I’d rather seek anonymous help. Is there anything you can suggest to help?Thank you again for your perfectly written experience, mine is almost exactly the same!

  42. By the way, Thank you Fitspiration for what you are sharing here. You are an inspiration, I don’t think I could be as brave as you! <3

  43. I have a G/daughter with this have addressed it with her but she just ignores me literally, it is so sad all I can think about is her dying and how the world will be such an empty place, she will not seek help. She is just so miserable all the time and loves to pick fights with you and is so nasty. One day I hope she gets help.

  44. I have been suffering with this for a few years now & everything is exactly how u describe, the high the low the pleasure the guilt :(, such a vicious circle, y cant i just normal!!! Only now have i ever had the courage 2 actually admit that what i do is crazy! Although comfort 2 know im not alone :) x

  45. Ugggh like all of you, I have suffered with this for so many years..started as anorexia, then excersize addiction-which I think I still dabble in..I feel like after I chew and spit, its one of the only ways I feel that I can justify my intake of food, is to go work out. I am training for my first bikini competition at the age of 36, I know this is just curtailing my efforts, it makes me feel bloated, tons of stomach gurgling, cravings are intense-yet all in the same it makes me feel full, satisified, content for about an hour…then it all goes to shit! Some days I can go without, and then like many of you I end up spending a ton of money and just cannot wait to go and isolate myself into my ritual until the food is gone. Its always on chocolates…I hate this disease, although I continue to battle it everyday I just wish it would be gone forever, so that I could live and love while I am here in the present.

  46. I’ve never been able to be anorexic or bulimic, they sounded too horrible to me. So when I heard about this, I thought, ‘what’s the harm in it?’ Now it’s uncontrollable and taking over my life. It’s all I ever think about. When i’m in public, ‘How can I sneak away to c/s this?’ ‘What do I feel like c/s next?’ I’m way too ashamed to tell anyone about it, is there some way to get over it?

  47. What a great article.

    I was a silent Chewer and Spitter for 4 years. After some incredible weight loss, I thought I knew the secret to being slim AND eating what I wanted. When I look back, the spectacle of an intelligent, successful woman in her mid-twenties deviantly dreaming of ways to cram doughnuts and cakes into her mouth and spit them out into bags is just so sad and shameful. I would do it in public toilets, my office at work, anywhere.

    Yes, it is a disorder. But that doesn’t justify it. You have to WANT to stop.
    Even getting caught by my housemate didn’t stop me. Chewing and spitting is fear, shame, self-hatred, deception, gluttony, void-filling, self- punishment AND self-soothing at its worst.

    Little did I also know that all that messing around with your insulin levels actually makes you GAIN weight in the long run. Four years on, my metabolism is the WORST it has ever been, and I am 10-12 kilos overweight, despite my much healthier approach to food.

    Don’t ever let your body or mind control you. It will only lead to deep spiritual unhappiness and an emptiness that WILL NEVER BE FILLED.
    If you are still Chewing and Spitting, make the choice to stop TODAY. The first week is the hardest. It will totally suck, like a heroin addict without their usual hit. Prepare for the worst. But after a few weeks, it will all be over- it only takes this amount of time to break a habit. Do it now. All the best .

  48. hellooo

    i have had this problem for about 4-5 months now. i was quite supprised when i saw others had this issue & that there are abreviations for it!

    I have tried to stop maybe once.

    i do it at work (i am a flight attendant), at home, in the car really anywere.

    as time has gone on it has gottwn worse…. it started off as maybe chocolatebars, bisuits, small chip packets. now it is anything & everything… i even go through mc donalds (maccas) and other such drive throughs & ‘cs’ it in the car b4 i get home or to wereever going.

    there are plastic bags in my bin in my room full of shit!!! i told mum about it & she remarks because all the peanut butter goes in like 3 days , or she goes into my room & looks in my bin.

    on a regular day over the last 3 weeks…
    morning coffee
    morning syt (skinny you tea product)
    home made smoothie
    berocca
    arvo syt
    maybe another coffe
    piece if fruit
    i always have dinner its the best bit of the day always healthy but, been trying to have soup as much as possible.
    then finally night syt
    i find i am never genuinly hungry… i never get hunger pains that much anymore were as i use to everyday (because i would only eat luch & dinner with nothing in between. very healthy stuff)

    all this is not including the ‘cs’. today i have done it 5 times & its 2.25 pm & that probly wont be the last.

    my favorite things to ‘cs’ are
    -BOOST CHOCOLATE
    -PEANUTBUTTER & JAM ON BREAD
    -sandwichs (home made usually with cheese & polony)
    -sandwiches supplied of passangers at work
    -caramel slice in my work lunch packs
    -bread
    -takeaways
    -sausages (made for dinner)
    -family leftovers(that i wasnt home for)
    -a certain takeaway mum sometimes orders wich consists of….. creamy chiken bianco gnocchi, meatlovers pizza & garlic bread.

    sorry this has been so long but i had to get it off my chest.

    i have notices some pain in my teeth. i totally get the numbing out of body feeling…. it feels so bad but so good! i make a mm mm mmm sounds sometimes wen i do it kind of telling myself off but totally loving & giving in to it at the same time. i keep thinking alright i wont do it tomorrow but tomorrow never comes. so read it & wheep. I dont wana get fat from it!!! it is a total addiction!!!!

  49. lmm, thanks for your honesty, I wish you the best with your journey. I had the same experience, it totally suppressed my hunger because you’re tricking your body into thinking it’s full. I wonder if you began your recovery slowly, like only C & S once a day at first until you wean yourself off it. It WILL make you fat, that’s a guarantee, it’s just a matter of how long it takes for your body to cotton on to what you’re doing.

    Everyone struggles with addictions, whether it’s food, sex, drugs, cigarettes, gambling, exercise, or power. Us humans are flawed creatures. We are all literally trying to find something to numb the pain or fill the voids we have in our lives. I’ve been addicted to porn and sex as well. The only way to keep fighting all this crap is to reach out to God. Sounds crazy, but try it and see. He’ll take it all away if you let him. Good luck to all of you on here.

  50. I want to tell you all there is a way to stop this. Wanna know what it is? EAT! I swear to everything it works. I have suffered from this for 6 years. It took me from 87 lbs to 147lbs in two years while i worked out insanely for four hours a day every day. I was trapped in this disguisting self torture until i got married. When i got married, at first, i had no choice but to stop (honey moon) he was with me all the time. I lost 15 lbs in a week and a half. Just by stopping that and eating.

    When the honey moon was over and i went back to “real life” i found my self alone at times and i stated back up. Boxed of cookies whole pizzas bags of chips..,,you all know. I got really good at hiding it. However i never fully went back to All c/s. i ate sometimes. I only cs when i was alone. So i gained weight back but stabilized at 135 or so.

    As time went on, i lost a molar from it. I vowed to stop. I stopped for 3 months. I was 116. I was still restricting and working out heavy so…again, one day i got hungry and cs a sandwhich FROM THE GARBAGE and the cycle started again. For 7 more months. But i had more self control. I ate better and only cs in the morning (that critical time 5am-10 am) hunger woke me from my sleep. My weight went back up to 124.

    Today is the 3rd day i am CS free. I am eating 1200 calories (clean foods protiens vegtables fruits good fats) and….i am MOTHERFUCKING stuffed. Im so stuffed the thought of cs is making me GAG. My workouts are only a light hour and a half 6 days a week as oppossed to the grueling 4 hours everyday i wasted my life in the gym an spitting out food.

    I forced my self to have lunch i am so full.

    Am i scared i will gain wieght ? Yes! Yes im terrified. But you know what? Cs – ing food made me fat, mad me sad, made me guilty and loathe myself every waking second of the day…and i was never full. Ever. I was a slave to it.
    Dont you think we must swallow some of it? How else would you explain the weight gain? The things is…i think, we never get full because we often cs things void of nutritional value and its almost as if we drink the calories. They mix in spit and slip into the stomache…never any chunks go down right?

    Im scared im very scared but i have to try. You have to try. Eat. You will stop cs. Make good choices. Eat at least 1200 and see what happens and go from there. We are worth “the gamble” science says its impossible to get fat on 1200 a day.

    I also lost my period when i got down to 116 ..again…i wish it would come back so bad.

    What do you guys think?

    • Omg!! You are giving me hope. I have done this too for six years…up and down in weight.. I work out all the time just to counter my c/s habit. It does make me feel like shit every time I’m done…I eat only healthyhongs but then the chocolates overcomes every thought in my body..I’m training for my first bikini show in Oct and I know I can’t keep doing this it will fuck with my meals and body…Ugghh I’ve stopped before I.know I can do it again!! Thank u.again for ur encouragement.

      • you CAN DO IT AGAIN girl! and this time eat food. plan and eat and you will not be hungry, also, the gym ease up on the cardio a little and take 1-2 days off i swear it kills that hunger beast. good luck on your show. dont let the cs bloat fuck up your lines! watch your sodium and dont go crazy restricting your food intake. the nutritionist told me i need a minimum of 1800 calories just to maintain with only 1 hour gym time. so. (i know it sounds so much) im past 1400 but not quite up to 1500 yet mainly because im eating pretty clean except for pizza once a week…

        restriciting and over excersising really fries your metabolism and your hormones…

      • CrThanks lady!!! I’m gonna try my hardest to beat this…eating clean and all day as I’m on a crazy meal plan..its just at night when I get home my mind Juat wants to binge on chocolate and granola bars..like I’m restricting too much..I’m not even hungry when those times come. Thanks for ur advice and your listening…I thank you for being another voice of reason.

  51. C & S makes you gain weight NOT because of the morsels that accidentally slip down your throat during the feeding frenzy, but because the act of CHEWING secretes the hormone insulin, preparing your body for food. The right amount of Insulin is what regulates your metabolism. Too much insulin screws your metabolism up, so not only makes it harder and harder to lose weight, but also increases the risk of insulin-related diseases like DIABETES. If you’re chewing all day, you’re producing more and more insulin every single time. That’s why chewing gum all the time is also not a good thing.

    PLUS when your stomach doesn’t get the food your mouth promised it would, it says “What the Hell?” and all that acid that normally helps with digestion will end up causing major damage to your stomach walls and teeth over time.

    But don’t go starving yourself now that you’ve read this. Your body can handle the insulin that is produced from 4-6 or even 8 small meals a day. We’re talking the major all-day binge sessions that a C & S does. Just don’t believe the misconception that it’s the food that you “accidentally swallow” during c& s that makes you fat. The kilojoules liquefied in the saliva during a binge are no way high enough to cause 20 kg weight gain over 3-4 months.

    All the best to you working through this.

    Much love, an ex- Chewer and Spitter (5 years)

  52. So an update i have been 10 days with out chewing and spitting now. I have been eating 1200 calories and now im trying to get to 1500 because guess what? Im loosing weight! And i dont want that anymore! I want to stay as i am. So i am trying up my calories but am finding for the first time in a long time…i am too full. This was never the case while chewing and spitting. I could never be full. I have shortened my work outs a lot. And im hoping to take two days off a week. Instead of 4 hours in the gym it iis now 1 and 1/2.

    This is so hard.
    But not harder than being a slave to CS

    Its only hard to get out of the sick restricitve mindset i been in so long. Its hard not knowing what to do with the free time i now have and it’s hard eating, it’s hard watching your body loose hardness and become softer with less visible viens.

    Because i lost my periods i have to gain FAT

    I was told i have PcOS a few days ago, and i am sure it is from chew and spitting over excersise and not eating enough dietary fat. I am devasted. Imagine your eggs trying to come out and failing because not enough hormones so they form cysts on your ovaries…

    I hope i can reverse this. If any one has succeeded in reversing ammenhorea please comment.

    Best wishes to all.

    Trust me eat the CS monster will go away

    • Hey, I’ve just started reading up on this, I felt like the only one who did it! I’ve been csing for about 2 years now, ever since I started university, and I previously had an eating disorder, but I suppose this is one too (I never really regarded it seriuos enough to be a disorder), but how did you stop? I really have nobody to talk to about this, I don’t think anyone I know would understand, I just desperately want to stop! thanks

      • being caught in the cs cycle was absolute hell. I did it for 8 years. I did not eat, only CS. I worked out for hours a day and continued to gain weight. I went from 86lbs to almost 150lbs just from the cs even though i worked out hard for hours every day.

        YOU DO GAIN WEIGHT FROM IT

        it is hard to believe but it is true
        you are better off EATING and filling up your stomache.

        complications of cs are insulin resistance, swollen salivary glands and FUCKED up teeth.

        i lost a molar from it, I couldnt eat or cs for a week. this is the first time I stopped because I had no choice. I started eating around 800 calories a day and lost weight…lots of it…..
        the CS came back though because I was so hungry. 800 is not enough.

        I got a grip on it again a few months after falling back into the CS cycle.

        what I did was, I made sure I ate 1200 calories a day.
        it was scary for me (i it thought i would get so fat) BUT I DIDNT, I LOST WEIGHT

        i continued this for now 55 days. I have not CS at all. I ate sensisbly , i ate when I felt hungry and now I am up to 2000 calories a day. THANK GOD I AM NOT FAT

        i am still battling though, the ED, one day at a time. its in my head that I am fat, everyone doestn see me that way

        maybe you dont believe in GOD but I do. I did this horrible thing to myself. this ED. this obsession. The only way i was able to stop was to promise GOD i would not do it anymore. JUST STOP and just eat.

        it is scary but i promise you will not get fat. you wont. i promise you that your CS-ing is making you miserable un heALTHY AND FAT.

        just eat guys. just start with 1200 no matter what until you see that it is okay, (because i know the ED caused you to fear eating)
        then increase…

        at first you will be so full eating 1200
        then your metabolism speeds up again and you will need more calories,
        start listening to your body, when you feel hungry eat
        pick something sensible that you wont feel bad or panick over…

        over time you will find your self eating what ever you want, 2000 calories, treats (and healthy food) you will find a balance can eat with your friends and family, the hunger and ED will not rule you any more!

        do it now. go eat a meal an stop CS and never do it again. promise god you will not.

        good luck <3

      • Thank u sooo much for that post!!! I’m gonna try and follow it…I hate myself after every episode…ur right it makes you gain weight..not loose!! It’s a viscious cycle and wreaks havoc on your mind and body!! Thank u again.

      • Hi Jenny, my name is Jenny too. I’ve also been battling with CSing for about 2 years. We’re in the same boat. Perhaps we could talk and cope together.

  53. Hi Rabbitbrainz,

    You are doing so well! Keep going!!!!

    I had ammenhorea for about a year when I had anorexia. As soon as I got into a rhythm of eating properly again, my period came back. It was a bit unsettled for a while, but our bodies are marvellously clever at repairing themselves.

    It just takes time. God Bless.

  54. Is it possible that this disorder causes overactive salivary glands? not to be gross or anything… I’ve dealt with C/S pretty heavily for two years. I’ve now gone 9 days without doing it at all (yay! :)) but I find that I randomly have to go to the sink and spit because it just builds up in my mouth, and this never used to happen before or during the disorder. Has this happened to anyone else?

    • Good for you on stopping!
      My experience is that yes it does, but it will go away as you continue to stop CS-ing

      During my first few days i remember i was chewing one of those chewey vitamins kinda like taffy…well, i guess it was very sweet and saliva actually squirted out of my mouth kinda like what a little water gun does. So, yeah def gets backed up. Good luck!

  55. Hi, excellent article thank you for sharing. I am battling this terrible thing right now. I have been doing it for a year and im very ashamed. Your article has helped me ..it encourage me and I will make an effort now to quit. It will be hard bit my plan is when I get craving I will just eat lots of fruit. Good luck to other sufferers. Together we cure ourselves.

  56. I have also been batttling with this. I have a question that I can’t seem to find an answer too. Recently I’ve been really fatigued both physically and mentally to the point where I can’t leave my bed some days. I have been chewing and spitting all day everyday for the past few weeks but recently stopped (apart from a few handfuls of peanuts here and there) about 3/4 days ago, I am a little less tired but still very tired. Has anyone else had this result from chewing and spitting? I’ve had all my blood tests done and they all came back fine so this is really all I can pin it down to. Did u get really fatigued? and if so how long after you quit did it take you to feel alright again? I really need to know because I am a very sporty person and want to get back into sport and not let down my teams! Please reply ASAP I am desperate for answers! It’s my birthday today and I am spending it trying to sort this out! :(

    • Hey Pippa,
      It can certainly have a tiring effect! I started noticing differences in my energy levels after about 2-3 weeks. I think it differs from person to person how long it takes for it to go away, but it’s worth a shot, right! Good luck and happy belated birthday :)

  57. so i’ve been struggling with this for about 2 years now.i’ve tried stopping and it worked for a while, but I’ve just fallen back into bad habits…and I’ve noticed it’s really started to physically hurt my throat, tongue, and stomach! I get no satisfaction from doing it anymore, but when I see chocolate I always just think, “one more, that looks really tasty and I want it without the calories!” (even though I know that’s not the case). it’s such a moment of weakness and I just want to stop :(

    • being caught in the cs cycle was absolute hell. I did it for 8 years. I did not eat, only CS. I worked out for hours a day and continued to gain weight. I went from 86lbs to almost 150lbs just from the cs even though i worked out hard for hours every day.
      YOU DO GAIN WEIGHT FROM IT
      it is hard to believe but it is true
      you are better off EATING and filling up your stomache.
      complications of cs are insulin resistance, swollen salivary glands and FUCKED up teeth.
      i lost a molar from it, I couldnt eat or cs for a week. this is the first time I stopped because I had no choice. I started eating around 800 calories a day and lost weight…lots of it…..
      the CS came back though because I was so hungry. 800 is not enough.
      I got a grip on it again a few months after falling back into the CS cycle.
      what I did was, I made sure I ate 1200 calories a day.
      it was scary for me (i it thought i would get so fat) BUT I DIDNT, I LOST WEIGHT
      i continued this for now 55 days. I have not CS at all. I ate sensisbly , i ate when I felt hungry and now I am up to 2000 calories a day. THANK GOD I AM NOT FAT
      i am still battling though, the ED, one day at a time. its in my head that I am fat, everyone doestn see me that way
      maybe you dont believe in GOD but I do. I did this horrible thing to myself. this ED. this obsession. The only way i was able to stop was to promise GOD i would not do it anymore. JUST STOP and just eat.
      it is scary but i promise you will not get fat. you wont. i promise you that your CS-ing is making you miserable un heALTHY AND FAT.
      just eat guys. just start with 1200 no matter what until you see that it is okay, (because i know the ED caused you to fear eating)
      then increase…
      at first you will be so full eating 1200
      then your metabolism speeds up again and you will need more calories,
      start listening to your body, when you feel hungry eat
      pick something sensible that you wont feel bad or panick over…
      over time you will find your self eating what ever you want, 2000 calories, treats (and healthy food) you will find a balance can eat with your friends and family, the hunger and ED will not rule you any more!
      do it now. go eat a meal an stop CS and never do it again. promise god you will not.
      good luck <3

  58. I been doing it for years, ive tried stopping feels impossible. Ive done it even while driving, i have spent way to much $ on food just to basicly throw it away. I have had the sores in my mouth for a while and it dont stop me. thank you for sharing your story, thought i was the only one.

    • I have a coworker that has started doing this for the last two months. They are training for a body comp. and at first were superfluous abt the possibility of chewing and spitting as a disorder. Joked abt it in fact. The ‘roid rage is def there. They even change the trash bin before other coworkers come in to hide it. The person needs help. While the friendship has stopped, as a compassionate human it becomes difficult to witness. Any suggestions on how to deal? Management is aware but as long as it doesn’t affect work quality they are abstaining.

  59. Thank you so much for this article. I’ve been doing it lately thinking it’s so innocent, and because I did it it three times already I thought, well, let’s see what sane people have to say about it…. And I was shocked with the side-effects. I already have tongue ulcers and I was wondering why. I stop asap. Thank you so much!!!!

  60. Thank you so much for sharing this. You’re a warrior. Your post has given me a reality check… My management strategies with my diet aren’t particularly efficient or healthy. Just more of my disorder in disguise.
    Thank you, thank you, thank you for your courage to share. Lisa

  61. thank you so much for sharing this, it might seem like a small deed but it has really lifted a weight off of my shoulders. I too am anorexic, right now im going through a horrible period of bulimic behaviour and binging, I usually get back on the horse though and begin again with my ana (anorexic) lifestyle which to be completely truthfull, althogh i do feel ashamed and depressed and fat all the time, and although it has distanced me from other poeple and began chipping away at my family relations, I can’t escape this feeling of wanting to lose weight, wating to be anorexic. Im going to the psychologist for the first time next week, after coming out of the closet, well it was more like being busted in the closet but nevertheless. I do not blame ana for my eating habits, maybe im in denial but i believe i have control, over everything exept binging sadly, i too am NOT a good bulimic and my throat is still REALLY soar from yesterdays binge and purge, binge and purge scene. So this is where chew and spit comes in, its my safe haven, i can allow myself a break from my never ending self control and NO to anything that involves food like parties or guests because there is usually food involved and i can just eat without heaving over the toilet usually without much success (im not good at the whole womit thing, I still haven’t quite figured it out after so long, I usually just get really frustrated) but sadly it is not a solution since i cant really chew and spit WITH my friends, i need to go into hiding. But when I am alone it realeases me. You know what I mean. I felt so sick of myself lately and all the crazy thoughts that had being going through my head and that I have being doing, to myself. I constantly think about food and when i dont I am busy convinsing myself that I don’t need it. That I don;t want it. That the smell of food is enough for me, I can;t actually eat it. It’s a destructive cycle of eat and then…well quilt. This monday was my birthday and I cut for the first time. I was always a scaredy cat, afraid of pain. It was my biggest fear. But…but. But what? I have sort of gone numb, and when I’m not, I feel fat and ugly. But when I read this for some reason I felt so much lighter. Thank you very much for this, I hope you are doing well now and you’re happy with yourself, same goes to everyone else who reads this. Good luck and I hope you guys find your ways.

  62. I know it’s not the best thing, but it seems better than anorexia. Sometimes after a day or so of not eating my stomach just kills me, but then when I chew and spit, I immediately feel much better, the hunger pains go away and then I don’t feel the need to binge. I read that you do get some calories from it, the sugars immediately dissolve and so that’s probably why it kills the hunger pains and makes me feel better. I’m sure it’s not a great way to get in shape, but it certainly seems better than either not eating at all or all out binging!

  63. I find it hard to admit, but I’m now 48 and have been suffering from eating disorders since the age of 16. That’s most of my life, and I cant face the thought of being like this for the next 30 years…..First it was anorexia, then bulimia, and finally I found chewing and spitting, which I now suffer from every day. I find it comforting to know I’m not alone, though I hate myself so much for this ridiculous and habitual addiction, so I am sorry for anyone in the same situation. My eating problems over the years have meant I have lost most of my teeth, and have spent £1000′s on teeth implants, and then had years of the heartache of IVF as I had completely mucked up my fertility. Luckily for me, after 7 attempts, and 2 miscarriages, I finally gave birth to my gorgeous son, 8 years ago. When I was pregnant it was the first time I can remember when I actually ate normally, as I was paranoid my eating habits would effect my baby. But once I gave birth I went back to my bad habits, and have been there ever since. I cant talk to anyone about it as I feel so ashamed.

  64. oh my god, that’s exactly what i’ve been going through starting years ago and i’m still trapped in this swirl>< i just cant get rid of this part in my life…i need to chew and spit at least once a day:(

  65. Thank you for writing this. My ugly addiction to this disgusting activity began during my struggle with – you guessed it – anorexia. It began as a desperate way to fend off the cravings. To make me feel less like a pig I read while I did it. Now I can’t read or watch TV or sit or anything without wanting to chew something. =I’m afraid bad things will happen to me because of my dirty, gross, disgusting, repulsive, creepy secret but it’s so hard to stop. Every minute, I can’t stop thinking about it.

  66. Thank you for sharing. You literally nailed everything that I’ve felt and have gone through for the past two years of my life battling with my disgusting chewing and spitting addiction. I’ve tried to get help but nothing seems to be working. It’s only getting worse and I’ve lost control. I cannot even count how much food and money I’ve wasted, and how many times I’ve visited the doctors due to swollen glands. I’m so ashamed. How did you stop and where did you go for help?

  67. Pingback: EATING DISORDERS: CHEWING AND SPITTING | LIVING IN STIGMA

  68. Hi after watching Dr uphill I never herd of chew and spit , and so I asked my best friend for 25 years did you see Dr uphill ,I told him it was about chewing and spitting , he said no but that’s what he does with chocolates . Wow I was shocked maybe that explains his teeth, I told him its a disorder, he said I only do it with chocolate. And we ended it at that. My question is should I be concern? My e-mail is carolbesler@gmail.com

  69. I have been suffering from C & S for years. It is so hard to stop and no matter how hard I try, I cant. I have had a mix of anorexia and bulimia like habits since 9th grade, I am a freshman in college now, like symptoms. I started C & S as a way of not consuming as many calories but its just gotten out of hand. I really need support and need to stop this. Please someone help free me from this. I wakeup every day saying “I wont do it today” and then see food and next thing you know, I’m stuffing my face with anything and everything.

  70. Thank you for sharing this… I suffered though cycles of dieting and occasional binge eating throughout my teens, and when I “discovered” Chew & Spit when I was about 20 (I’m 28 now), I literally thought it was the answer to everything – I could eat anything I wanted and still lose weight! Not surprisingly, it quickly spiralled into an addiction, and like so many others on here I am deeply ashamed of how much food I wasted in the process. Not just my own food, but food that belonged to my parents, my flatmates, without their knowledge;I had no resistance at all, that’s how little control this disorder leaves you with.
    Anyway, what I really wanted to say is that it Chew & Spit really CAN lead to much more harmful eating disorders. Before starting, I would say I definitely had eating and body image issues, but was never anorexic, nor bulimic. However after a couple of years of chew&spitting almost everyday, I read that a lot of calories are still absorbed, even though you’re spitting the food out. Well, after that I was a bit more careful with the types of foods I used, and rinsing my mouth out etc, but somehow all the spitting had given me the abiltiy to purge any food I ate – immediately – without even sticking a finger down my throat. So, goodbye chewing & spitting; hello bulimia… I was underweight, felt like crap all the time and remember my arms and legs were always going numb from the electrolyte imbalances, plus my hair started falling out. This took me a good few years to recover from; , and even now I am a milion times healthier, through treating my body well with nutritious foods and exercise, I still have occasional bad days, but I am just glad I no spend hours in the kitchen with a loaf of bread or packet of cookies I have no intention of swallowing. Please, to anyone who has started this, stop before it’s too late.

  71. I got started with it a couple of days ago and decided to look it up.
    Thank you so much. You really did touch me and convinced me not to do it anymore ( it will be easy because I feel I’m not addicted yet – it started with 1 bite of candy, today I spit 10 bites of random stuff)… you got to me just in time. Thanks for having the guts to share it, not only your story but the wits..
    I feel stupid because I’m a med student, but even us get sick too.
    Don’t ever feel ashamed of your story. You’re a real winner.

  72. I have this problem:( been going on for 7 months . I have just gained more and more weight doing this :(
    How where u able to stop. I cannot control myself .
    I know you wrote this a long time so I wanna know how u are doing .
    Thanks :))

  73. I have been doing this lately with calorie dense foods that I make– I just feel out of control. I had been anorexic and as part of my recovery I was working on incorporating all natural, high fat dessert recipes with nuts and dates and stuff like that. Turns out they’re so delicious that I haven’t been able to not consume the entire amount and spit it back out in a long time. I just think about it until it’s gone– such a waste and my jaw aches from all the chewing. I totally numb out.

    I had googled something like “calories absorbed when chew food but spit it out” or something and found out that “Chew and Spit” is an actual disorder. I never knew. Noone ever said anything about this during my recovery from anorexia or anything I’ve read on bulimia… So how did you manage to stop this?

  74. I have this disorder quite badly. I’ve had it on and off for a long time now. I’ve made a few drastic life changes this year and I’ve found my c&s binges have just gotten completely out of control. I starve myself for a couple of days then every third day I’ll binge I’ve started bingeing on massive amounts of Icecream and chocolate. For ages it was just chocolate. I’d spend and do spend alot of money every week on chocolate that I binge.
    Then I started craving Icecream in one binge now I’ll chew and spit 2 2L of Icecream all in one go plus many king size blocks of chocolate. I’ll then c&s something savoury like ill cook up heaps of pasta or rice and sauce or meat and eat a tonne of that. Sometimes I’ll cook a pudding just to c&s by myself with cream.
    Plus the Icecream chocolate and savoury things.

    I always have to finish everything I lay out to ‘eat’.
    I always end up in pain and uncomfortably bloated.

    I’ve made myself sick many times with my binges.
    It’s kind of like I have to c&s such a massive amount till I feel like I can take no more because it hurts me.
    And then I’ll just counteract it by starving for a couple of days. And exercising.
    By the time binge day comes around I’m itching to eat everything I have brought.
    I hoard my chocolate. I have a huge stash of it and I get anxious if it gets low.
    It’s an expensive habit. But even that doesn’t stop me.
    It’s out of control it’s very unhealthy.
    I feel alone and disgusting.

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